Dipper the person
by GravityFallsMD
Summary: Gravity Falls parody of Charlie the Unicorn. I OWN NOTHING BUT THE CHOICE OF WORDS. Dipper the person 2 is coming out but won't be around for a while. I STILL OWN PRACTICALLY NOTHING!


ONCE UPON A TIME... Dipper was sitting under a tree quietly snoring. All of a sudden Mabel and Soos walked out of the bushes, they're eyes glowing.

"Hey! Dipper! Hey Dipper, wake up!" Soos began.

"Yea Dipper! You silly sleepy head, wake up!" Mabel said.

Dipper groaned and opened his eyes. "Oh God, you guys!" Dipper put his hand over his eyes. "This had better be flippen important! Is the Mystery Shack on fire?"

"No Dipper. We found a map to Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain, Dipper!" Soos said razing his arms in the air.

"Yea, Dipper! We're going to candy mountain! Come with us, Dipper!" Mabel added.

"Yea, Dipper! It'll be an adventure! We're going on an adventure, Dipper!" Soos said, his eyes tightly shut.

"Yea...Candy Mountain, right. I'm just gonna, you know, go back to sleep now." Dipper closed his eyes again and curled up on the ground.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Mabel wailed and jumped on Dipper's side. "Dipper! You have to come with us to Candy Mountain!"

"Yea, Dipper, Candy Mountain! It's a land of sweets and joy...and joyness!" Soos rambled.

"Please stop bouncing on me..." Dipper mumbled.

"Candy Mountain, Dipper!" Mabel yelled.

"Yea! Candy Mountain!" Soos added.

"FINE!" Dipper put his hands over his head and then in that way you put your hands when your so annoyed you start going crazy and shaking back and fourth and you're usually yelling. "I'LL GO WITH YOU TO CANDY MOUNTAIN!"

* * *

**Later that day...**

"LALALALALALALALALALA!" Soos and Mabel sang to the tne of the Gravity Falls theme song.

"Uggg ENOUGH WITH THE SINGING ALREADY!" Dipper spat impationtly.

"Our first stop is over there, Dipper!" Soos called to Dipper who was walking way behind Mabel and him.

As the made their way closer to whereever Soos said their first stop was, Dippr saw a large scaly creature with a long neck, long fangs, and flippers.

"Oh God, what is that?" Dipper mumbled nervously.

"It's a gobblewonker, Dipper!" Soos responded.

"A MAGICAL GOBBLEWONKER!" Mabel sang.

"It's gonna guide our way to Candy Mountain!" Soos added.

Dipper opened his book and after a few minutes of flipping through the pages, turned to his comrads. "Alright guys, you do no that there's no actual Candy Mountain, right?" Dipper asked.

"SHUN THE NON BELIEVER!" Soos said with a smile.

"SHUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNN!" Mabel said.

"SSSSSSHHHHHHHHHUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNN!" said Soos.

Dipper sighed. "Yea."

All of a sudden, the gobblewonker let out an earsplitting roar and Soos and Mabel smiled.

"IT HAS SPOKEN!" Soos yelled.

"IT HAS TOLD US DA WAAAAAAAY!" Mabel hollered. Both began to walk forward leaving a confused Dipper behind.

"IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!" Dipper wailed.

* * *

**Some time later...**

It's just over this bridge, Dipper!" Soos yelled.

"THIS MAGICAL BRIDGE OH HOPE AND WONDEEEEEEEERRRRRRR!" added Mabel.

"Is anyone else getting, like, covered in splinters?" Dipper glared. "Seriously guys, we shouldn't be on this thing!"

"Dipper!" Mabel began to yell. "Dipper!"

Dipper blinked and rolled his eyes.

"DIPPER! DIPPER! DIP-"

"I'M RIGHT HERE!" Dipper spat. "What do you want?"

Mabel was still for a second before answering. "WE'RE ON A BRIDGE, DIPPER!" Mabel said.

* * *

**MUCH LATER...**

"We're here!" Mabel yelled as the group came up to a candy covered hill with a big cave in the middle.

"Well what do you know, There actually is a Candy Mountain."

"Candy Mountain! Candy Mountain!"Soos began to sing and began disappearing and reappearing all over the mountain. "YOU FILL ME WITH SWEETS SUGERY GOODNESS!" Soos reappeared next to Dipper after the last part of his song.

"Go insde the Candy Mountain Cave, Dipper!" Mabel said.

"Yea, Dipper! Go inside the cave! Magical wonders are to behold when you enter!" Soos added.

"Yea, uhh...thanks but no thanks. I'm gonna stay out here." Dipper grumbled.

"You have to enter the Candy Mountain Cave, Dipper!" Mabel begged. Suddenly, music began to play and a bunch of people appeared out of nowhere including Gideon. They all began dancing.

"OH, when you're down and looking for some cheering up, then just head right on up to the Candy Mountain Cave." Gideon began singing and somehow the chubby nine year old did a flip. "When you get inside you'll find yourself a cheering land, such a happy and joyful and merry little land! They got lollypops and gummydrops and candy things, oh so many things that will brighten up your day! It's impossible to wear a frown in candy town! It's the maker of love, the Candy Cave!" Lights began shining everywhere and everyone but Dipper started floating. "They've got jellybeans and coacoanuts and Lit. Tle. HATS! Candy rats, chocalate bats! It's a wonder land of sweets! By the Candy Train to town you'll hear the Candy Band! They'll fix a treat as they march across the land! Cherry ribbins stream across the sky and to the ground! Turn around, it astonds! It's the Dancing Candy Tree! In the Candy Cave imagination runs so free! So Dipper! Would you go into the cave!" All the other dancing people exploded and annoyed Dipper sighed heavily.

"ALRIGHT! Fine, I'll go into the freaking Candy Cave! This had better be good!" Dipper stepped inside to see nothing but darkness and was deeply confused.

"GYAAAAAA!" Mabel and Soos both wailed at the same time.

"Bye Dipper!" said Soos.

"Yea, good bye Dipper!" Mabel yelled.

"Good bye? What?" Dipper asked and two metal doors slammed shut leaving Dipper alone in the dark Candy Cave. "HEY! What's going on here?" Dipper spat and heard loud foot steps. "Hello...who is that."

All of a sudden something knocked Dipper out.

* * *

**MUCH, much later...**

Dipper woke up and felt a sharp pain in his side. "OW! What happened..." He lifted his shirt to see a long cut deep in his stomach. "AWWW! They took my flippen kidney!"

** DA END?**


End file.
